I just finished a 20min meditation, and thought to do some journaling about my experience. I was reflecting on how many thoughts kept coming up, how difficult it was to find an open space of quiet between all the streaming of thought sound. One of the thoughts I experienced was a judgment of my lack of stillness, which of course is a little hypocritical of the judgmental thought, considering it in itself is a reflection of the very target of it's criticism! However, like a cool breeze on a hot day, the next thought rolled in: that mud is a part of the river. The fact that I don't like mud (or thoughts in this instance) is a issue for the judgment to reconcile, but not a problem for the river. All of the river is natural and worthy of my love and acceptance, not just the parts I choose to appreciate. The mud, the sea lice, the clean water, the slimy algae top on hot days, the sea snakes, the rotting tree stumps, the reflection of the sky...these are all integral parts of the river, all there for me to make peace with, accept and hopefully even love. Thoughts are an integral part of being human, the fact that they come up and bug me when I'm meditating is only a problem because I wage war with them. If I choose to acknowledge and accept this part of myself, the issue is immediately resolved... and I might even create an experience of peaceful stillness, because the volume on self-loathing is turned down with each act of self-acceptance. I was journaling about this experience the last line I wrote was "just another heart beat trying to let love lead the way". And I thought, that's it, my heart beat is proof of being enough, each beat a reminder of my own worthiness of compassion and acceptance...and damn this might be a great blog topic:-). There is so much we can choose to be critical about in this life, but really, most of it is just highlighting that which defines the limit of our love for ourselves or for others (or both). As a human being, we are genetically predispositioned to want to fit in, as being a cast away was worse then death. We keep a watchful eye for the limits of belonging, and are sure to create all sorts of preventative pain to try our hardest to repel ourselves from being identified with the "other" or evil. It's my understanding that all religions and all the great thinkers of our times past and present reckoned compassion and love were the greatest of human achievements. If this is really the case, then any time we feel loathing towards self or other, we should be able to remedy it with compassion, acceptance and love. All of the things we judge are reflections of pieces of us we feel shame or fear of, and so try to keep buried and in check by judging others as a reminder of how bad these parts really are. If you have a pulse, then you are as vulnerable and imperfect and still totally and completely worthy of acceptance and compassion as anyone else.
Anyhow, time to eat and sleep and be merry.
Love and blessings and goodnight
xx
Connection holds the key. Wisdom opens the door. Compassion lights the way.
Monday, 23 March 2015
Sunday, 1 March 2015
The Fifth Element :-)
Do you remember that movie...The Fifth Element with Bruce Willis? I loved that movie, and probably would still enjoy it. Before I get all serious on you, let me first confess that when it comes to my taste in film, I generally feel like a 14yr old boy trapped in a 32yr old woman's body! I love the classic sci-fi, adventure type movies; which can feel rather embarrassing at times....
Anyhow, the real purpose of my blog today is to share a recent 'ah-ha' moment I had. Yesterday I was eating my curds and whey, when along came an idea... I was contemplating the four or five elements often referred to as either: earth, air, fire and water; or as earth, air, fire, water and ether/spirit. You hear of 5 rhythms dance, or the five elements of Traditional Chinese Medicine, or the five spokes of the traditional medicine wheels of North American Indigenous people. But then sometimes you only hear folks speak of the four elements in line with the four directions. Now, I'm not trying to suggest that any of these perspectives are incorrect OR cancel out each other, as I am a firm believer in Both/And philosophy. However, I was thinking about the 5 element philosophy and was specifically contemplating ether. My train of thought went something like this: "but, if ether is spirit, (and many postulate that spirit is the one thing that lives in everything), how could one of the five elements be THE thing that lives in everything?...so what else could ether be?...what are elements anyhow? Wind, water, earth, fire...they all seem more like forces at work in the world; elements conventionally represent more so the building blocks of earth, water, air and fire, as in the periodic table of elements... so the 'elements' maybe could instead be called forces....so what could the fifth force be?" And then it hit me: Consciousness!!! Now, this might not seem like a big deal to you, but it felt like a big deal to me. I was all giddy and excited, like a 14yr old boy trapped in a 32yr old woman's body about to watch X-Men for the enteenth time.
Of late, I have been oft wrestling with the concept of consciousness. I've been stewing on one of the ideas I learned in my last university class, about how the level of consciousness experienced or measured is determined by the information processing capacity of the being (sentient or not) it is measured in. Applied to us humans as an example, the coalesced experience of consciousness we have is the result of the information processing capacity of our neurological system, aka our brains and all its nerve endings through out our bodies. For me, this suggests that like the other forces at play in the uni/multiverse, consciousness is just another 'element' or 'force' that expresses itself as it gathers. And, if we take the physical law that applies to all other elements or atoms in the uni/multiverse (that nothing is ever destroyed, only ever changed or transformed) and apply it to consciousness, then it is conceivable that consciousness too is never destroyed, only ever changed or transformed...talk about past-life regression work!!!!! :-) Anyhow, this fits in well for me with the whole Five Elements perspective on life, but transplant "consciousness" in place of "ether" as the fifth element.
So, that was my thought the other day. And if you have enjoyed reading about it, then I am thrilled!
Blessings,
Jenelle
Anyhow, the real purpose of my blog today is to share a recent 'ah-ha' moment I had. Yesterday I was eating my curds and whey, when along came an idea... I was contemplating the four or five elements often referred to as either: earth, air, fire and water; or as earth, air, fire, water and ether/spirit. You hear of 5 rhythms dance, or the five elements of Traditional Chinese Medicine, or the five spokes of the traditional medicine wheels of North American Indigenous people. But then sometimes you only hear folks speak of the four elements in line with the four directions. Now, I'm not trying to suggest that any of these perspectives are incorrect OR cancel out each other, as I am a firm believer in Both/And philosophy. However, I was thinking about the 5 element philosophy and was specifically contemplating ether. My train of thought went something like this: "but, if ether is spirit, (and many postulate that spirit is the one thing that lives in everything), how could one of the five elements be THE thing that lives in everything?...so what else could ether be?...what are elements anyhow? Wind, water, earth, fire...they all seem more like forces at work in the world; elements conventionally represent more so the building blocks of earth, water, air and fire, as in the periodic table of elements... so the 'elements' maybe could instead be called forces....so what could the fifth force be?" And then it hit me: Consciousness!!! Now, this might not seem like a big deal to you, but it felt like a big deal to me. I was all giddy and excited, like a 14yr old boy trapped in a 32yr old woman's body about to watch X-Men for the enteenth time.
Of late, I have been oft wrestling with the concept of consciousness. I've been stewing on one of the ideas I learned in my last university class, about how the level of consciousness experienced or measured is determined by the information processing capacity of the being (sentient or not) it is measured in. Applied to us humans as an example, the coalesced experience of consciousness we have is the result of the information processing capacity of our neurological system, aka our brains and all its nerve endings through out our bodies. For me, this suggests that like the other forces at play in the uni/multiverse, consciousness is just another 'element' or 'force' that expresses itself as it gathers. And, if we take the physical law that applies to all other elements or atoms in the uni/multiverse (that nothing is ever destroyed, only ever changed or transformed) and apply it to consciousness, then it is conceivable that consciousness too is never destroyed, only ever changed or transformed...talk about past-life regression work!!!!! :-) Anyhow, this fits in well for me with the whole Five Elements perspective on life, but transplant "consciousness" in place of "ether" as the fifth element.
So, that was my thought the other day. And if you have enjoyed reading about it, then I am thrilled!
Blessings,
Jenelle
Wednesday, 18 February 2015
Alchemy, can our perception turn pain to gold?
I was just trying to have a snooze, and this reel of conversation kept going through my mind...so I have decided to get up and type it. Often I feel some of my most interesting ideas or thoughts present themselves as I start to drift off to sleep. It ends up feeling like a contentious state of being, as part of me really wants to surrender to the embrace of deep sleep, while another part of me is trying fervently to grip momentum and wake up. We both now know who won today!
I would also like to share for sharing sake that this is my first down under blog, since our recent relocation from Canada back to Australia. I'm excited to share what the sea change has brought to mind.
So, what I have been thinking about of late is alchemy. My understanding of alchemy is that it has to do with turning seemingly worthless 'stuff' illogically into gold. This might not be an accurate definition, but that is how I understand it. I have also thought of alchemy as if generally experienced in tangible, physical reality, such as witnessing turning something like a feather into gold; however today I was considering it in different terms, I was considering the alchemical capacity to transfigure pain into joy, or fear into love...which in my opinion are shinier than gold anyhow and much more valuable.
The idea isn't really a new one, but today it felt like it anchored more surely in my mind-body. The theory of Post-Traumatic Growth is a great example of turning pain into power. The idea is that after experiencing the tear down from a traumatic experience, there is in fact a greater capacity for the resilient development of joy, gratitude and vitality. I can personally attest to this sort of experience. I believe that my time spent living with depression laid the foundation for a more blissful, joyful and happiness filled life. Sure we could say that people like me are just talking ourselves into perceiving our post-trauma life this way, but actually there is a hefty amount of evidence-based research supporting this as fact, not fiction (check out research and work conducted by Martin Seligman, Tal Ben Shahar and Barbara Fredrickson, to name a few). Aside from the support of ivory-tower research, even if it were 'just' our perception, what's so bad with that? The more I study pain science (Lorimer Moseley, Neil Pearson), brain science (Rick Hanson), quantum physics (Amit Goswami), and yogic philosophy applied to physiology (Timothy McCall), the more I'm thinking/learning that our perceptions and beliefs might be one of the most creatively charged potentials and powers of our experience!
So, here's what I was thinking today: when we turn pain/trauma/shadow into gold/joy/love, it isn't that we've just suddenly taken something black and decided to see it as white, it's that we've broaden our view finder and are holding the experience in a more expansive and considerate context. Take a learning curve as an example. Imagine that you are looking at a graph with a typical learning curve displayed. The line is very obviously moving gradually up, following a gentle concaving curve in an upward direction. Now, this graph is in fact a 'zoomed out' perspective of the whole process of learning. If you 'zoomed in' you would see that the line actually follows a series of regressions, followed by successions, followed by plateaus, and the dynamic/chaotic cycle continues. If you only gazed at the process from a 'zoomed in' perspective, you may suffer a tendency to feel anxiety and fear when ever the line dipped in the downward/regressing direction. However, if your view finder was 'zoomed out' you'd let the regressing line role off of you like water off of a ducks back, being able to see that obviously the line is still ultimately moving in an upward direction! In fact, learning theorists currently posset that regressions are experienced when the greatest learning is happening, and also that plateaus are symbolic of necessary consolidation periods. Collective sigh of relief: our plateaus in life are actually essential recovery and integration periods, and our so called failures (aka regressions) are GOOD NEWS, we're LEARNING!! To me, our process of consuming this perspective on learning theory is an example of alchemy. We've taken something (failure and plateaus) that we fear or feel shame from, and turned them into gold: something to wear proudly as signs that we are growing stronger, evolving into a more resilient, shinning and bright being. (And why you might ask should we want to learn and grow in life? Well as my teacher Sandra Ingerman pointed out recently, what ever has stopped growing has started dying...I know where I am choosing to be on this continuum for the present).
So then, I'd like to take a similarly expanded context and apply it to our perspective on pain or trauma or sickness. Perhaps all these 'negative' aspects of our lives are in fact just part and parcel of the learning process. Perhaps during these times some new information is being processed by our being and so we experience a regression (sickness, pain, depression) as an integral part of our evolution and expansion. Seeing it in this light doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt to go through a downward motion, but it does mean there is some unknown and beautiful experience on the other side of the pain, which in my experience makes pain more bearable. It is only when pain feels hopeless and pointless and that it manages to grind us deeper into the darkness. If we can remember to gain a birds eye view of the process of becoming, then perhaps we can feel soothed knowing that illness or pain is symbolic of our personal evolution (whether it be physically: think immunity building; emotionally: think emotional wielding vs wailing; mentally: greater perspective, empathy, insight, lived-experience vs theory; spiritually: a deeper gratitude for that which we once took for granted (our health) and for the simple joys and loves in life, maybe even a glimpse at a greater purpose or calling in life).
Anyhow, time to be with the kids. Happy if this was thought for food, it was really useful to get it out of my sleepy head and onto this blog! Thanks for reading. Peace and blessings.
I would also like to share for sharing sake that this is my first down under blog, since our recent relocation from Canada back to Australia. I'm excited to share what the sea change has brought to mind.
So, what I have been thinking about of late is alchemy. My understanding of alchemy is that it has to do with turning seemingly worthless 'stuff' illogically into gold. This might not be an accurate definition, but that is how I understand it. I have also thought of alchemy as if generally experienced in tangible, physical reality, such as witnessing turning something like a feather into gold; however today I was considering it in different terms, I was considering the alchemical capacity to transfigure pain into joy, or fear into love...which in my opinion are shinier than gold anyhow and much more valuable.
The idea isn't really a new one, but today it felt like it anchored more surely in my mind-body. The theory of Post-Traumatic Growth is a great example of turning pain into power. The idea is that after experiencing the tear down from a traumatic experience, there is in fact a greater capacity for the resilient development of joy, gratitude and vitality. I can personally attest to this sort of experience. I believe that my time spent living with depression laid the foundation for a more blissful, joyful and happiness filled life. Sure we could say that people like me are just talking ourselves into perceiving our post-trauma life this way, but actually there is a hefty amount of evidence-based research supporting this as fact, not fiction (check out research and work conducted by Martin Seligman, Tal Ben Shahar and Barbara Fredrickson, to name a few). Aside from the support of ivory-tower research, even if it were 'just' our perception, what's so bad with that? The more I study pain science (Lorimer Moseley, Neil Pearson), brain science (Rick Hanson), quantum physics (Amit Goswami), and yogic philosophy applied to physiology (Timothy McCall), the more I'm thinking/learning that our perceptions and beliefs might be one of the most creatively charged potentials and powers of our experience!
So, here's what I was thinking today: when we turn pain/trauma/shadow into gold/joy/love, it isn't that we've just suddenly taken something black and decided to see it as white, it's that we've broaden our view finder and are holding the experience in a more expansive and considerate context. Take a learning curve as an example. Imagine that you are looking at a graph with a typical learning curve displayed. The line is very obviously moving gradually up, following a gentle concaving curve in an upward direction. Now, this graph is in fact a 'zoomed out' perspective of the whole process of learning. If you 'zoomed in' you would see that the line actually follows a series of regressions, followed by successions, followed by plateaus, and the dynamic/chaotic cycle continues. If you only gazed at the process from a 'zoomed in' perspective, you may suffer a tendency to feel anxiety and fear when ever the line dipped in the downward/regressing direction. However, if your view finder was 'zoomed out' you'd let the regressing line role off of you like water off of a ducks back, being able to see that obviously the line is still ultimately moving in an upward direction! In fact, learning theorists currently posset that regressions are experienced when the greatest learning is happening, and also that plateaus are symbolic of necessary consolidation periods. Collective sigh of relief: our plateaus in life are actually essential recovery and integration periods, and our so called failures (aka regressions) are GOOD NEWS, we're LEARNING!! To me, our process of consuming this perspective on learning theory is an example of alchemy. We've taken something (failure and plateaus) that we fear or feel shame from, and turned them into gold: something to wear proudly as signs that we are growing stronger, evolving into a more resilient, shinning and bright being. (And why you might ask should we want to learn and grow in life? Well as my teacher Sandra Ingerman pointed out recently, what ever has stopped growing has started dying...I know where I am choosing to be on this continuum for the present).
So then, I'd like to take a similarly expanded context and apply it to our perspective on pain or trauma or sickness. Perhaps all these 'negative' aspects of our lives are in fact just part and parcel of the learning process. Perhaps during these times some new information is being processed by our being and so we experience a regression (sickness, pain, depression) as an integral part of our evolution and expansion. Seeing it in this light doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt to go through a downward motion, but it does mean there is some unknown and beautiful experience on the other side of the pain, which in my experience makes pain more bearable. It is only when pain feels hopeless and pointless and that it manages to grind us deeper into the darkness. If we can remember to gain a birds eye view of the process of becoming, then perhaps we can feel soothed knowing that illness or pain is symbolic of our personal evolution (whether it be physically: think immunity building; emotionally: think emotional wielding vs wailing; mentally: greater perspective, empathy, insight, lived-experience vs theory; spiritually: a deeper gratitude for that which we once took for granted (our health) and for the simple joys and loves in life, maybe even a glimpse at a greater purpose or calling in life).
Anyhow, time to be with the kids. Happy if this was thought for food, it was really useful to get it out of my sleepy head and onto this blog! Thanks for reading. Peace and blessings.
Wednesday, 3 December 2014
What do I want and where am I going?
What are we/I here to do? In this whole, expansive, eternal existence; in this giant, unfathomable thing of reality, here I am, living out my daily grind, rhythm and drama. Some suggest that this is all an illusion, that we need to transcend our smallness (or selves); while others suggest that this is all we will ever have, today, the present, and so we should live it up. Who is right and how can I, a seed in this moment, grow fruitfully and purposefully in the fertile soil of other's past? Taking advantage of the evolutionary technology of the written language and the world-wide-web, can I personally thrive and blossom in this nutrient dense dirt of other's wisdom and live my brief life vicariously on the shoulders of countless others?
The truth is, in all my seeking (which I appreciate is limited to a short lifespan), I do not know who is right re: transcendence vs. immense, and I do not know what I want to do. However, I do know that I am excited by my ability to learn and by the capacity at which I can access knowledge and experience.
The idea of being both empty and full have most recently resonated under my radar of curiosity and I feel they have something to do with figuring out this living process/journey. Reflecting on these paradoxical concepts, I can see that in my life, there is an empty part of me that shows up, day and day again, uncertain of which direction I am going and how I'll behave on the road to get there (where ever there might be), and at the same time, there is a full part of me that also shows up, a part of me that, in retrospect, appears to know what it is doing. I have been learning to listen to and invest with hope in this part of myself more and more as my days pass.
Faith is something I never thought I had and never thought I wanted to have. I have always been a very critical thinker, and remember as a child sitting in the pews at church feeling anger and disagreement swelling from some depth inside of me. And I have always thought faith was synonymous with religion, but this isn't apparently so. Anyhow, due to the biological, technical advances (aka my prefrontal cortex) that I have been blessed with (as have all humans), the gifts and powers of hindsight have allowed me to take note of this deep, radiant, loving part of myself that shows up time and time again in my life. This part of my self is so wise, loving, compassionate and insightful that I have felt dumbfounded in the noticing that it lines up with the stumbling of a life I have been living. However, with hindsight (which they say is 20/20!), it feels like this part of me has been patiently navigating what-can-feel-like-a-chaotic-labyrinth-of-a life so beautifully. No, it hasn't always taken the path of ease or least resistance, as this deep wisdom inherently knows of the need to iron out the wrinkles of my soul. It knows, so I have learnt, that the only way to get to love is through the pain of separation I have ignorantly choose to carry. It seems that this inner knowing has no fear of my shadows, even if I do, and so it guides me to face them, my fears and pain, in order to help me transform and transfigure myself into the golden light of love (which it also seems I/we have always been, but somehow we have forgotten). This leaves me to feel and think that although I feel empty and aimless in my smallness, I am simultaneously full and on-target in my largeness. For me, this means that I am both self and collective, clueless and all-knowing, menial and meaningful, shallow and deep; that there is not a tug-of-war between the seemingly opposing realities of power and grace, but instead a loving interplay between them.
So...how exactly do I fold these feelings and now acquired insights into my daily life!?! These ideas can feel poetic and grandiose, but I still need to get my kids out the door to school and feed them, and they still insist on sleeping in, taking 15min showers and stating they are full after eating only their meat and potatoes (that last one is a bit of a lie, my kids do generally eat their veggies with out protest...but it wasn't always that way!). I think it has something to do with trusting the fullness enough to cool down my immobilizing anxieties, all the while feeling the emptiness enough to fire up my passions and stay the course (or as some say the hero's journey). In yoga class I talk about this as walking the line between effort and ease. Not being so apathetic and trusting (easeful) that we do nothing to meet the call, and all the while not being so full of effort and enthusiasm that we in fact set fire to everything and burn down the very house we are trying to inhabit. I guess the analogue is stoking the flames enough to keep the house warm and supportive to life and love.
And maybe, I guess, instead of the focus being what we shouldn't do, we could consider what we could do? I think this is where positive psychology holds a lot of good clues. Positive psychology suggests that we could focus on joy. There is something synergistic about focusing on joy, as it is naturally inspiring, it is an intrinsic motivator. What I love about the research of positive psychology is that they (as in the researchers) have measurably shown that it is not just joy that we truly thrive from, but that joy paired with meaningfulness is a supremely potent recipe for a lifetime of happiness. As Martin Seligman explains, you can experience joy and happiness in three ways: simply as positive emotion/experience (it feels good to have sex, it feels good to eat fat, sugar and salt, it feels good to win a basketball game), or in a flow state (utilizing your skills in an experience that is just hard enough to feel challenging while easy enough to feel joy, or otherwise described as self-efficacy), or in a joy-filled, meaningful life. The first two ways have a shadow side of course: they do not produce lasting joy and happiness. The "simply positive emotion" experience falls victim to the hedonic treadmill, the reality that us humans unfortunately get used to things we often experience (so eventually you get used to the sex, the cake and the feelings of winning), and unfortunately the flow states generally also habituate (as your skill continues to improve with experience the challenge gets easier rendering it no longer a flow state). The true champion is the meaningful life. And this, by the way, has been measurably proven. The joy-filled, meaningful life provides lasting happiness that we do not habituate to. Isn't this incredibly inspiring, uplifting, awesome, amazingly good news!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This news is what lifts my spirits every day. We have been under this illusion that having as much bliss in our lifetime is what will make us happy. That having the clothes, the car, the career, the house, the cake, the sex, the travel...that this stuff and positive emoting experiences will make us happy. But it is not true. And since most of the above mentioned things not only leave us feeling infinitely insatiable, they also rob others (including our environment) of opportunities to even just survive (oh, sorry rainforest, were you trying to give us fresh oxygen and house billions of other species, sorry, we couple of million folks really needed to feel good reading our weekly new copy of the Times magazine (or so on and so forth)...sorry about that). This falsehood of a short-lived, insatiable way to be happy is a collective sickness, a catch 22, that we really need to wake up from.
Now, before we get too down on ourselves for making these horrible, painful mistakes, lets remember the learning curve are a normal part of evolution and development, both on individual, specie and global terms. Making mistakes is inherent to being alive, and is very human. Life grants us the grace of learning from our mistakes, in the hopes and trust that we will evolve and transform (or die out I guess, as has happen enumerable times in the course of history on Earth). And so here we are, all of us evolving, all of us learning, growing thankfully out of the loamy soils of past experiences and wisdom, living vicariously while moving into the future of becoming something new.
And so, time to hit the mat and then make dinner. Not too sure where you or I can and will go with all of this, and with everything else we are consuming in thought, heart, body and soul, but I know we will all get there, collectively, in one way or another.
Thanks for reading this, I enjoyed writing it.
Jenelle
The truth is, in all my seeking (which I appreciate is limited to a short lifespan), I do not know who is right re: transcendence vs. immense, and I do not know what I want to do. However, I do know that I am excited by my ability to learn and by the capacity at which I can access knowledge and experience.
The idea of being both empty and full have most recently resonated under my radar of curiosity and I feel they have something to do with figuring out this living process/journey. Reflecting on these paradoxical concepts, I can see that in my life, there is an empty part of me that shows up, day and day again, uncertain of which direction I am going and how I'll behave on the road to get there (where ever there might be), and at the same time, there is a full part of me that also shows up, a part of me that, in retrospect, appears to know what it is doing. I have been learning to listen to and invest with hope in this part of myself more and more as my days pass.
Faith is something I never thought I had and never thought I wanted to have. I have always been a very critical thinker, and remember as a child sitting in the pews at church feeling anger and disagreement swelling from some depth inside of me. And I have always thought faith was synonymous with religion, but this isn't apparently so. Anyhow, due to the biological, technical advances (aka my prefrontal cortex) that I have been blessed with (as have all humans), the gifts and powers of hindsight have allowed me to take note of this deep, radiant, loving part of myself that shows up time and time again in my life. This part of my self is so wise, loving, compassionate and insightful that I have felt dumbfounded in the noticing that it lines up with the stumbling of a life I have been living. However, with hindsight (which they say is 20/20!), it feels like this part of me has been patiently navigating what-can-feel-like-a-chaotic-labyrinth-of-a life so beautifully. No, it hasn't always taken the path of ease or least resistance, as this deep wisdom inherently knows of the need to iron out the wrinkles of my soul. It knows, so I have learnt, that the only way to get to love is through the pain of separation I have ignorantly choose to carry. It seems that this inner knowing has no fear of my shadows, even if I do, and so it guides me to face them, my fears and pain, in order to help me transform and transfigure myself into the golden light of love (which it also seems I/we have always been, but somehow we have forgotten). This leaves me to feel and think that although I feel empty and aimless in my smallness, I am simultaneously full and on-target in my largeness. For me, this means that I am both self and collective, clueless and all-knowing, menial and meaningful, shallow and deep; that there is not a tug-of-war between the seemingly opposing realities of power and grace, but instead a loving interplay between them.
So...how exactly do I fold these feelings and now acquired insights into my daily life!?! These ideas can feel poetic and grandiose, but I still need to get my kids out the door to school and feed them, and they still insist on sleeping in, taking 15min showers and stating they are full after eating only their meat and potatoes (that last one is a bit of a lie, my kids do generally eat their veggies with out protest...but it wasn't always that way!). I think it has something to do with trusting the fullness enough to cool down my immobilizing anxieties, all the while feeling the emptiness enough to fire up my passions and stay the course (or as some say the hero's journey). In yoga class I talk about this as walking the line between effort and ease. Not being so apathetic and trusting (easeful) that we do nothing to meet the call, and all the while not being so full of effort and enthusiasm that we in fact set fire to everything and burn down the very house we are trying to inhabit. I guess the analogue is stoking the flames enough to keep the house warm and supportive to life and love.
And maybe, I guess, instead of the focus being what we shouldn't do, we could consider what we could do? I think this is where positive psychology holds a lot of good clues. Positive psychology suggests that we could focus on joy. There is something synergistic about focusing on joy, as it is naturally inspiring, it is an intrinsic motivator. What I love about the research of positive psychology is that they (as in the researchers) have measurably shown that it is not just joy that we truly thrive from, but that joy paired with meaningfulness is a supremely potent recipe for a lifetime of happiness. As Martin Seligman explains, you can experience joy and happiness in three ways: simply as positive emotion/experience (it feels good to have sex, it feels good to eat fat, sugar and salt, it feels good to win a basketball game), or in a flow state (utilizing your skills in an experience that is just hard enough to feel challenging while easy enough to feel joy, or otherwise described as self-efficacy), or in a joy-filled, meaningful life. The first two ways have a shadow side of course: they do not produce lasting joy and happiness. The "simply positive emotion" experience falls victim to the hedonic treadmill, the reality that us humans unfortunately get used to things we often experience (so eventually you get used to the sex, the cake and the feelings of winning), and unfortunately the flow states generally also habituate (as your skill continues to improve with experience the challenge gets easier rendering it no longer a flow state). The true champion is the meaningful life. And this, by the way, has been measurably proven. The joy-filled, meaningful life provides lasting happiness that we do not habituate to. Isn't this incredibly inspiring, uplifting, awesome, amazingly good news!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This news is what lifts my spirits every day. We have been under this illusion that having as much bliss in our lifetime is what will make us happy. That having the clothes, the car, the career, the house, the cake, the sex, the travel...that this stuff and positive emoting experiences will make us happy. But it is not true. And since most of the above mentioned things not only leave us feeling infinitely insatiable, they also rob others (including our environment) of opportunities to even just survive (oh, sorry rainforest, were you trying to give us fresh oxygen and house billions of other species, sorry, we couple of million folks really needed to feel good reading our weekly new copy of the Times magazine (or so on and so forth)...sorry about that). This falsehood of a short-lived, insatiable way to be happy is a collective sickness, a catch 22, that we really need to wake up from.
Now, before we get too down on ourselves for making these horrible, painful mistakes, lets remember the learning curve are a normal part of evolution and development, both on individual, specie and global terms. Making mistakes is inherent to being alive, and is very human. Life grants us the grace of learning from our mistakes, in the hopes and trust that we will evolve and transform (or die out I guess, as has happen enumerable times in the course of history on Earth). And so here we are, all of us evolving, all of us learning, growing thankfully out of the loamy soils of past experiences and wisdom, living vicariously while moving into the future of becoming something new.
And so, time to hit the mat and then make dinner. Not too sure where you or I can and will go with all of this, and with everything else we are consuming in thought, heart, body and soul, but I know we will all get there, collectively, in one way or another.
Thanks for reading this, I enjoyed writing it.
Jenelle
Wednesday, 19 November 2014
Nit Picking
Yes, this blog really is, literally, about nit picking! I bet you never thought you would read about the depths of spirituality in relation to nits, but here it is: a yogi's blog about lice! Recently, I have been reading Thomas Moore's book "The Soul's Religion", where he strongly suggests and talks about finding spiritual depth within the mundane and daily life challenges, and so I was inspired to write and share my recent experience of this. I hope you enjoy the story!
Nearly two years ago, my young family and I were living in Brunswick Heads, Australia. A paradise if there ever was one, Brunswick Heads is a life-giving, beautifully pristine, lush environment. It is located in the sub-tropics, with two rivers coursing through it, butted up against the generally warm Pacific ocean. It is here, on Brunz's stunning coastline, that I've had the frequent pleasure of witnessing humpback whales cresting and dolphins surfing the break waters. Brunswick Heads is amazingly beautiful.
The only 'problem' with Brunswick Heads, is that it is so beautiful, abundant and supportive to life that EVERYTHING wants to live there...and everything can, including an abundance of lice and other parasitic creepy-crawlies. Unlike the witnessing of whales and dolphins, these are life forms I had no aspiration or intention to warmly welcome. And so, when I was confronted by them, I struggled significantly.
The story goes like this:
Just moved country, from Canada to Australia, pregnant with our third child.
Life is a dream, we love the area, we are healthy, we are well.
We have our beautiful baby, all is well, my mother and father are with us to help with the family's transition...all is ideal, smooth and wonderful!
Nonetheless, we make a decision to move back to Canada to bring our baby "home". Preparations to move (yes shortly after having a baby) begin.
Shortly there after, youngest son is riding his bike one evening, it is dark, he flips over an unseen obstacle in the night, he lands frightfully...we are with a friend who used to be a MD, she is concerned re: possibility that he has broken his neck. My heart stops, this is when a mother stares into the abyss and asks: can life really take this turn? We call an ambulance, at the hospital the x-ray is suspicious, a break can't be ruled out for C1, if my heart hasn't already stopped, than it is surely about to break, not sure I remember breathing after this news from the doctor. Son is taken to a larger hospital for an CT scan. After an all night ordeal, and hours of fear and anxiety, good news prevails: son's neck is not broken.
One week later, realize the same son has lice. Though this is nothing compared to a possible neck break, the reality is that our nerves have not yet come back down to Earth. Stress is on high. Brain is in red mode. Did I mention it is the beginning of the wet season. We do not have a dryer. If you have ever had to deal with lice, you will know how useful having a dryer is. No dryer, and no sun (wet season) to dry clothing/linen. Lots of trips to Laundromat. Did I mention we have a newborn baby, did I mention we are starting to pack/organize to move country....
One week later, realize same son that almost broke his neck, that had lice, now has pin worms. Stress and anxiety levels are reaching breaking point and I don't know how to surf. Did I mention we have a newborn baby, did I mention we are trying to prepare to move country, did I mention it is the wet season, did I mention we don't have a dryer...
Well. All is well that ends well, right!? We dealt with the lice, the worms, the laundry, the new baby, the packing, and move back to Canada. Collective exhale.
At the time, I didn't think it was possible to have post-traumatic stress disorder from such seemingly trivial and non-life threatening events (aside from the fear of a broken neck of course); however, the amount of fear-avoidance and flashbacks I was having suggested otherwise. I became obsessed (as my kids and husband will attest to) with hand washing, hair checking and other obsessive compulsive types of behaviour and thinking around avoiding 'contamination'. And so, with my practice of contemplation and reflection (aka yoga and meditation), it became apparent that my work was cut out for me. I mean, this is the reason I called my business Yoga In The House, because this is where yoga is lived out and carried through: off the mat and in my kitchen, laundry room, garden, neighborhood and in general in my relationships with self and other.
I started reflecting on my emotionally charged attitudes and reactions to these experiences. Absolutely, I could partially write them off too an accumulation of several small, though intense, experiences, but I was open to seeing these experiences more symbolically and spiritually. What is it about my attitude or life experiences that rendered these parasitic encounters so upsetting? Using my emotions as my guide, I recognized that I felt 'invaded', I felt like these creepy-crawlies were "the unbearable other": I considered them disgusting, unacceptable and repulsive; they had no place, they didn't belong. Furthermore, I reflected on my fear-avoidance, about how my experiential knowledge of these parasites left me on-guard, not wanting to be re-infected by anyone else who might have them. These are strong reactions, and I must admit I'm a little embarrassed by them, which is why I feel more compelled to share them.
In comparison to what I grew up knowing or believing, pin worms, lice and other parasitic infections are in fact pretty darn common, but not the sort of things one talks about over tea or wine. Unfortunately, there is a lot of social shame and anxiety around having them, which makes sharing your personal stress and experience less of an option. The old adage of sharing a burden makes it half as heavy, comes to mind. Upon reflection, I noticed that shame and anxiety were the same feelings I had around talking about my depression when I was struggling with it, which severely debilitated my capacity to share and overcome my mental health burden. My experience of bottling up burden took me on a downward spiral, as there was no escape for the negativity and it simply compounded in my small personal system, taking me down with it. Once I did open up and share, I found relief and a way out. I found others who related to my pain and struggle, who had insights I could grow from and flourish out of. In fact, my depression ended up being a soulfully enriching experience, teaching me the value of showing courage and vulnerability while sharing the depths of raw experience; in this way others feel the permission to be vulnerable and can relate their own struggles, and together you both grow to become more resilient and connected.
I am obviously not the first person to identify the destructive forces of shame and anxiety. Dr. Brene Brown so skillfully articulates this social oppressor in her Ted Talk on the "Power of Vulnerability", and in her book "The Gifts of Imperfection". As a yogi, reflecting on my own personal life circumstances that stimulate a shame and social anxiety response point clearly to our (including my own) moralistic judgements of others, as well as to our collective fear of being associated with that judged as belonging to the darkness of life, that which is unwelcomed and soiled. I feel the limitations and destructive nature of shame would be substantially reduced, if not eliminated if more of us practiced compassion, acceptance and empathy, both to self and other. Really disgusting, unfortunate, painful and revolting things happen in life, even when we think we 'should' have control, should have been able to prevent it. The truth is, we ALL fall from grace from time to time, some of us more frequently than others, so what is the point in casting stones at one another, or determining whether or not one person's darkness versus another's is worthy of alienating them, or disowning them from the tribe/community. We feel shame when we fear that we will be judged as being unacceptable, intolerable, and no longer welcomed in our tribe or community for what we have done or for what has happened to us. Compassion, acceptance and empathy are useful individual and social balms for soothing the pain of shame and judgement.
So, on one hand, I am sharing this nit-picking story to hopefully help others struggling with parasitic encounters in defusing feelings of shame and anxiety, and I am also sharing this story to example the wonderful possibilities for soulful transformation when we take the time to reflect and integrate spirituality into these types of mundane and daily life ordeals.
In the end, I found my way not by going OVER or disassociating from things feelings, or from the realities of parasites, but by going THROUGH them. My way through these feeling of invasion, shame and anxiety was by ACCEPTING that I felt them, REFLECTING on the how and why I felt and reacted the way I did, and then treating myself COMPASSIONATELY. By reflecting on these feelings I managed to transfigure my perception and relationship with both the concept of 'parasites' and 'invasion', as well as my judgment of myself (and others) for having them. Although, I must admit I still do not really love the idea of ever being a host to creepy crawlies, it is in fact a reality that I need to come to terms with. We are living organisms in a giant living system of co-existence; although we have perceivable boundaries that help individualize us, interconnectivity and dependence is a core fact of life (both from a quantum and relative platform). In this ordeal I have had to find a way to realize that all creepy crawlies, not matter how big or small are an integral part in the whole cosmos, they too belong. So I guess, if you can't beat them, join them (or at least accept them compassionately)!
Also, finally and luckily, I have since come across literature that has supported the notion that parasites are not only integral, but an essential part of our immunity and optimal health function. Societies that have a healthy, manageable parasitic load are indeed healthier, more resilient and more robust than those cultures (like North Americans) who have fewer parasites (notice the word fewer here). Also, we now know that as human beings we are mostly made up of bacteria that do not share our DNA. Only 10% of our cells are human cells, the rest are 'other' cells with foreign DNA. I just love this concept, it really brings home the need to find peace with those we consider 'other', as we are interconnected and our basic living function is dependent on our co-existence and synergistic living.
Anyhow, another beautiful result of this perspective shift on nit picking is that now I actually enjoy the process. Yes, I enjoy it (talk about reframing!). In the spirit of creating new family traditions :-), we now do a light-hearted, weekly routine, family lice check, and even our little two year old gets into the spirit of it. She loves to take part in the caring/grooming 'ritual'. And, as my mother would whole-heartedly attest to, it is wonderful to have someone play with your hair...especially when that someone is a cute, pudgy, adorable bundle of two year old joy!
I never thought I would have ever described checking for lice as wonderful, but there you have it, oh the transformative powers of contemplative reflection!
Nearly two years ago, my young family and I were living in Brunswick Heads, Australia. A paradise if there ever was one, Brunswick Heads is a life-giving, beautifully pristine, lush environment. It is located in the sub-tropics, with two rivers coursing through it, butted up against the generally warm Pacific ocean. It is here, on Brunz's stunning coastline, that I've had the frequent pleasure of witnessing humpback whales cresting and dolphins surfing the break waters. Brunswick Heads is amazingly beautiful.
The only 'problem' with Brunswick Heads, is that it is so beautiful, abundant and supportive to life that EVERYTHING wants to live there...and everything can, including an abundance of lice and other parasitic creepy-crawlies. Unlike the witnessing of whales and dolphins, these are life forms I had no aspiration or intention to warmly welcome. And so, when I was confronted by them, I struggled significantly.
The story goes like this:
Just moved country, from Canada to Australia, pregnant with our third child.
Life is a dream, we love the area, we are healthy, we are well.
We have our beautiful baby, all is well, my mother and father are with us to help with the family's transition...all is ideal, smooth and wonderful!
Nonetheless, we make a decision to move back to Canada to bring our baby "home". Preparations to move (yes shortly after having a baby) begin.
Shortly there after, youngest son is riding his bike one evening, it is dark, he flips over an unseen obstacle in the night, he lands frightfully...we are with a friend who used to be a MD, she is concerned re: possibility that he has broken his neck. My heart stops, this is when a mother stares into the abyss and asks: can life really take this turn? We call an ambulance, at the hospital the x-ray is suspicious, a break can't be ruled out for C1, if my heart hasn't already stopped, than it is surely about to break, not sure I remember breathing after this news from the doctor. Son is taken to a larger hospital for an CT scan. After an all night ordeal, and hours of fear and anxiety, good news prevails: son's neck is not broken.
One week later, realize the same son has lice. Though this is nothing compared to a possible neck break, the reality is that our nerves have not yet come back down to Earth. Stress is on high. Brain is in red mode. Did I mention it is the beginning of the wet season. We do not have a dryer. If you have ever had to deal with lice, you will know how useful having a dryer is. No dryer, and no sun (wet season) to dry clothing/linen. Lots of trips to Laundromat. Did I mention we have a newborn baby, did I mention we are starting to pack/organize to move country....
One week later, realize same son that almost broke his neck, that had lice, now has pin worms. Stress and anxiety levels are reaching breaking point and I don't know how to surf. Did I mention we have a newborn baby, did I mention we are trying to prepare to move country, did I mention it is the wet season, did I mention we don't have a dryer...
Well. All is well that ends well, right!? We dealt with the lice, the worms, the laundry, the new baby, the packing, and move back to Canada. Collective exhale.
At the time, I didn't think it was possible to have post-traumatic stress disorder from such seemingly trivial and non-life threatening events (aside from the fear of a broken neck of course); however, the amount of fear-avoidance and flashbacks I was having suggested otherwise. I became obsessed (as my kids and husband will attest to) with hand washing, hair checking and other obsessive compulsive types of behaviour and thinking around avoiding 'contamination'. And so, with my practice of contemplation and reflection (aka yoga and meditation), it became apparent that my work was cut out for me. I mean, this is the reason I called my business Yoga In The House, because this is where yoga is lived out and carried through: off the mat and in my kitchen, laundry room, garden, neighborhood and in general in my relationships with self and other.
I started reflecting on my emotionally charged attitudes and reactions to these experiences. Absolutely, I could partially write them off too an accumulation of several small, though intense, experiences, but I was open to seeing these experiences more symbolically and spiritually. What is it about my attitude or life experiences that rendered these parasitic encounters so upsetting? Using my emotions as my guide, I recognized that I felt 'invaded', I felt like these creepy-crawlies were "the unbearable other": I considered them disgusting, unacceptable and repulsive; they had no place, they didn't belong. Furthermore, I reflected on my fear-avoidance, about how my experiential knowledge of these parasites left me on-guard, not wanting to be re-infected by anyone else who might have them. These are strong reactions, and I must admit I'm a little embarrassed by them, which is why I feel more compelled to share them.
In comparison to what I grew up knowing or believing, pin worms, lice and other parasitic infections are in fact pretty darn common, but not the sort of things one talks about over tea or wine. Unfortunately, there is a lot of social shame and anxiety around having them, which makes sharing your personal stress and experience less of an option. The old adage of sharing a burden makes it half as heavy, comes to mind. Upon reflection, I noticed that shame and anxiety were the same feelings I had around talking about my depression when I was struggling with it, which severely debilitated my capacity to share and overcome my mental health burden. My experience of bottling up burden took me on a downward spiral, as there was no escape for the negativity and it simply compounded in my small personal system, taking me down with it. Once I did open up and share, I found relief and a way out. I found others who related to my pain and struggle, who had insights I could grow from and flourish out of. In fact, my depression ended up being a soulfully enriching experience, teaching me the value of showing courage and vulnerability while sharing the depths of raw experience; in this way others feel the permission to be vulnerable and can relate their own struggles, and together you both grow to become more resilient and connected.
I am obviously not the first person to identify the destructive forces of shame and anxiety. Dr. Brene Brown so skillfully articulates this social oppressor in her Ted Talk on the "Power of Vulnerability", and in her book "The Gifts of Imperfection". As a yogi, reflecting on my own personal life circumstances that stimulate a shame and social anxiety response point clearly to our (including my own) moralistic judgements of others, as well as to our collective fear of being associated with that judged as belonging to the darkness of life, that which is unwelcomed and soiled. I feel the limitations and destructive nature of shame would be substantially reduced, if not eliminated if more of us practiced compassion, acceptance and empathy, both to self and other. Really disgusting, unfortunate, painful and revolting things happen in life, even when we think we 'should' have control, should have been able to prevent it. The truth is, we ALL fall from grace from time to time, some of us more frequently than others, so what is the point in casting stones at one another, or determining whether or not one person's darkness versus another's is worthy of alienating them, or disowning them from the tribe/community. We feel shame when we fear that we will be judged as being unacceptable, intolerable, and no longer welcomed in our tribe or community for what we have done or for what has happened to us. Compassion, acceptance and empathy are useful individual and social balms for soothing the pain of shame and judgement.
So, on one hand, I am sharing this nit-picking story to hopefully help others struggling with parasitic encounters in defusing feelings of shame and anxiety, and I am also sharing this story to example the wonderful possibilities for soulful transformation when we take the time to reflect and integrate spirituality into these types of mundane and daily life ordeals.
In the end, I found my way not by going OVER or disassociating from things feelings, or from the realities of parasites, but by going THROUGH them. My way through these feeling of invasion, shame and anxiety was by ACCEPTING that I felt them, REFLECTING on the how and why I felt and reacted the way I did, and then treating myself COMPASSIONATELY. By reflecting on these feelings I managed to transfigure my perception and relationship with both the concept of 'parasites' and 'invasion', as well as my judgment of myself (and others) for having them. Although, I must admit I still do not really love the idea of ever being a host to creepy crawlies, it is in fact a reality that I need to come to terms with. We are living organisms in a giant living system of co-existence; although we have perceivable boundaries that help individualize us, interconnectivity and dependence is a core fact of life (both from a quantum and relative platform). In this ordeal I have had to find a way to realize that all creepy crawlies, not matter how big or small are an integral part in the whole cosmos, they too belong. So I guess, if you can't beat them, join them (or at least accept them compassionately)!
Also, finally and luckily, I have since come across literature that has supported the notion that parasites are not only integral, but an essential part of our immunity and optimal health function. Societies that have a healthy, manageable parasitic load are indeed healthier, more resilient and more robust than those cultures (like North Americans) who have fewer parasites (notice the word fewer here). Also, we now know that as human beings we are mostly made up of bacteria that do not share our DNA. Only 10% of our cells are human cells, the rest are 'other' cells with foreign DNA. I just love this concept, it really brings home the need to find peace with those we consider 'other', as we are interconnected and our basic living function is dependent on our co-existence and synergistic living.
Anyhow, another beautiful result of this perspective shift on nit picking is that now I actually enjoy the process. Yes, I enjoy it (talk about reframing!). In the spirit of creating new family traditions :-), we now do a light-hearted, weekly routine, family lice check, and even our little two year old gets into the spirit of it. She loves to take part in the caring/grooming 'ritual'. And, as my mother would whole-heartedly attest to, it is wonderful to have someone play with your hair...especially when that someone is a cute, pudgy, adorable bundle of two year old joy!
I never thought I would have ever described checking for lice as wonderful, but there you have it, oh the transformative powers of contemplative reflection!
Friday, 7 November 2014
Beings drawn to the Moon
It has been my intention in writing this blog to try to let go of fear and inhibition, and truly write from my heart: trying not to worry about how readers will receive, perceive or judge it/me. Nonetheless, a mindfulness of readers still creeps in through the cracks of my consciousness, as I find myself checking the statistics of how many readers have visited my site, and in particular which blogs receive the greatest amount of "hits".
It has been such a pleasant surprise to see that my ALL TIME most read blog/blogs are the ones concerning the moon. Although I perhaps shouldn't read too much into this, I can't help but feel it is evidence that there is a collective keenness to reconnect with nature and its soothing rhythms.
The more we study nature, the more we realize all expressed elements take part in a global and solar system dance. Still, the moon in particular seems to have a significant pull not just on our tides, but also on our hearts and souls. Many of natures rhythms are so elusive or expansive that we may find them hard to recognize or relate to. But like the passing of the seasons, the moon's pattern is obvious and recognizable, making it accessible to our imaginations and psyche.
As a result, most, if not all, traditional and indigenous cultures have tales to relate their relationship to the moon, and its symbolism, to their tribe's people. A natural consequence of this cultural richness is the colorful array of story books that fill my local library, just waiting for me to sample and taste. One of my greatest loves is my local library, where I can horde up on as many of these tales as my heart desires, with the comfortable knowledge that a) this act of 'gathering' is free and b) in a week or two I can de-clutter my home by returning them all back to the library (so much better than shopping, no?).
Aside from the fact that reading these stories to my children encourages a proud imaginary pat on my back, for a motherly-job well done, the truth is that I LOVE THEM (yes my kids as well, but also the books!). The reason I truly love these precious stories is that they are not only full of beautiful drawings and heartfelt artwork, they also deliver their profound and insightful message in less than 15 pages! For me this is effective and efficient learning... why bother with novels?! Folk tales and myth so effectively drum up emotions and distill their message that in fact they are more readily digestible and deeply integrated and absorbed into our hearts and psyches.
Anyhow, the love of story books is really an aside, back to the moon!
So, here we are, all enigmatically drawn to the moon; all, I believe, looking to connect to the largeness of our existence, to help us understand the notes we play in this universal tune.
Similar to the moon, we also move with rhythm and pattern; but, also similar to some of the more elusive rhythms of nature, we might find many of our patterns hard to pin down. Gregg Braden of the HeartMath Institute, wrote a fascinating book called "Fractal Time", putting forth interesting concepts regarding not only our individual patterning, but also that of communities, cultures, nations and civilizations.
In recent months, fractals have significantly caught my curiosity and attention. Living, evolving fractals provide me personally with a constellation and philosophy for living, a way to consider and contemplate my choices, actions and intentions in life. Below is a link to a video expressing about "Fractal Time", if you are interested, give it a watch:-)
Anyhow, happy belated full moon. Consider practicing some back bends or strong standing postures with an added awareness on your inhalations filling and broadening your chest, lungs and heart space (think warrior I or extended side angle stretch). Or perhaps the full moon entices greater creative thinking or need to express oneself creatively (think dance, poetry, blogging :-) ). For some of you, you may be rocking a totally different natural rhythm, by all means honor your own inner guru and listen to the seeds of need being expressed by your body, mind, heart and soul today.
Namaste,
Jenelle
http://wn.com/gregg_braden_fractal_time
It has been such a pleasant surprise to see that my ALL TIME most read blog/blogs are the ones concerning the moon. Although I perhaps shouldn't read too much into this, I can't help but feel it is evidence that there is a collective keenness to reconnect with nature and its soothing rhythms.
The more we study nature, the more we realize all expressed elements take part in a global and solar system dance. Still, the moon in particular seems to have a significant pull not just on our tides, but also on our hearts and souls. Many of natures rhythms are so elusive or expansive that we may find them hard to recognize or relate to. But like the passing of the seasons, the moon's pattern is obvious and recognizable, making it accessible to our imaginations and psyche.
As a result, most, if not all, traditional and indigenous cultures have tales to relate their relationship to the moon, and its symbolism, to their tribe's people. A natural consequence of this cultural richness is the colorful array of story books that fill my local library, just waiting for me to sample and taste. One of my greatest loves is my local library, where I can horde up on as many of these tales as my heart desires, with the comfortable knowledge that a) this act of 'gathering' is free and b) in a week or two I can de-clutter my home by returning them all back to the library (so much better than shopping, no?).
Aside from the fact that reading these stories to my children encourages a proud imaginary pat on my back, for a motherly-job well done, the truth is that I LOVE THEM (yes my kids as well, but also the books!). The reason I truly love these precious stories is that they are not only full of beautiful drawings and heartfelt artwork, they also deliver their profound and insightful message in less than 15 pages! For me this is effective and efficient learning... why bother with novels?! Folk tales and myth so effectively drum up emotions and distill their message that in fact they are more readily digestible and deeply integrated and absorbed into our hearts and psyches.
Anyhow, the love of story books is really an aside, back to the moon!
So, here we are, all enigmatically drawn to the moon; all, I believe, looking to connect to the largeness of our existence, to help us understand the notes we play in this universal tune.
Similar to the moon, we also move with rhythm and pattern; but, also similar to some of the more elusive rhythms of nature, we might find many of our patterns hard to pin down. Gregg Braden of the HeartMath Institute, wrote a fascinating book called "Fractal Time", putting forth interesting concepts regarding not only our individual patterning, but also that of communities, cultures, nations and civilizations.
In recent months, fractals have significantly caught my curiosity and attention. Living, evolving fractals provide me personally with a constellation and philosophy for living, a way to consider and contemplate my choices, actions and intentions in life. Below is a link to a video expressing about "Fractal Time", if you are interested, give it a watch:-)
Anyhow, happy belated full moon. Consider practicing some back bends or strong standing postures with an added awareness on your inhalations filling and broadening your chest, lungs and heart space (think warrior I or extended side angle stretch). Or perhaps the full moon entices greater creative thinking or need to express oneself creatively (think dance, poetry, blogging :-) ). For some of you, you may be rocking a totally different natural rhythm, by all means honor your own inner guru and listen to the seeds of need being expressed by your body, mind, heart and soul today.
Namaste,
Jenelle
http://wn.com/gregg_braden_fractal_time
Friday, 24 October 2014
A yogis perspective: our fight against terror.
Today I feel angry. Although I wish my immediate response to our nation's (or world's) challenges could be met instead with compassion; I have to be honest, I feel angry.
Before I get too far long in my potential vent, let me just say that I recognize that I am angry because really, I want change. Sometimes anger is a way of expressing a need for growth, for change and transformation. And so, I believe this is the root of my anger, the desire for transformation...and regardless of how angry I seem, I do TRULY believe we have it in us to transform and evolve as individuals and a collective.
Last weekend, I was in our nation's capital, Ottawa. On Weds, a desperately misled, imbalanced and unwell person killed another human being on Capital Hill, and then continued to fire fear and bullets into Parliament Building.
Let me start by saying, this is sad news. Cpl. Nathan Cirillo was a man, a father, a son, and he is gone. It is sad and upsetting that he was taken so recklessly, so insanely. Such a waste of love, life and good intention. I am sincerely sorry for Cpt. Nathan and his family. I hope and believe they are being truly loved and held in the support of their families and communities during their times of grief.
What I find even more devastating however, is our nation's reaction to this random act of violence. Just a few days ago we were allowing ourselves to be tugged in the wake of fear of Ebola, spread by our news broadcasting companies. Then suddenly, since Weds, we have barely heard a hiccup regarding Ebola. Instead now we are allowing ourselves to be held in the iron-fist grip of terrorism.
Just so we can get a good look at the facts:
The story that has gripped our nation since Weds, was regarding the death of one person.
On rough average, 500 Canadians die, EVERY DAY, from preventable, lifestyle diseases.
In 2005, the leading cause of death in Canada was Circulatory System Diseases (such as Cardiovascular Disease). In 2005 this killed 71,749 Canadians. Of the top five killers in our nation, all of them are considered preventable via healthy lifestyle choices. Which means that of the 181,985 deaths, from the leading causes of death, most (if not all) could have been prevented. Talk about a waste of life. Talk about a war on terror.
But for some insane reason, we aren't fighting against the corporate grind which causes unparalleled psychological stress; we aren't we fighting against food marketing campaigns that cleverly feed off our instinctive monkey brains and desires for happiness; in fact here comes another Halloween and the ignorant idea that fun and happiness really do come in the form of packaged, sweet treats.
Why shouldn't we spoil little Johny or Jainie right?
Personally, I can think of 181, 985 good reasons, every year, not to sell my kids short by continuing this lethal belief that their happiness and pleasure comes in the form of fun, sugary 'treats'.
Regardless of the true deadly risk of excessive and over indulgent consumption of stress, sugar, processed foods and carcinogenic fats, our nation, our governments and our broadcasting 'news' companies seem hell bent on selling us foreign threats and fears of terrorism instead of focus our needed attention on to what is really killing us. It is such a simple, reductionistic way of engaging in the world, one that has fuelled wars for eons: our terror and fear of the unknown, of those we perceive as other, those that are different or oppose us.
Although I would find it disturbing to try to understand the rational of the man who decided to take Cpl. Nathan Cirillo's life, I find it just as disturbing to try to understand the ethics or intentions behind companies selling us (and especially our children) lethal-yet-sold-as-fun foods, as well as trying to understand the rational of a government that doesn't put these REAL HOME GROWN TERRORS in check.
Before I get too carried away projecting the blame onto faceless company owners and board members, or government officials, let me be clear that I think the greatest amount of power rests in our individual hearts, hands, minds and actions.
Here is a list of what we can try to do, as much as possible to oppose terror:
- try to remember that the world is filled with way more loving, well intended, imperfect yet striving for improvement and growth human beings
- turn off the news 6 out of 7 days, and surround yourself instead with the good facts of caring neighbours, laughing children, the reality that the sky that is not falling, the view and feel of the earth under your feet, and time spent with those you love
- feel strength and conviction in the power of YOUR DOLLARS: buy local, organic, unprocessed and ethically grown foods and products as much as possible. Work to limit your consumption of unnecessary and unhealthy goods (including fear mongering news and media productions)
- vote, get involved with local and national debate
- volunteer and make a difference in the neighbourhoods you live in
- take time for contemplative, self-loving practices (filling your spiritual, psychological, emotional, physical and intellectual cup as much as possible so it can runneth over and help fill the cups of others)
- study positive psychology and yoga, or other uplifting and inspiring topics
- laugh at your self when you take it all too seriously, but reflect with gratitude for your feelings of care and responsibility for your fellow humans and the world we live in.
So....be well, be light, be love, be imperfect, be forgiving, be compassionate, be.
Thanks for reading.
Love and light and shadow,
Jenelle
The website for the 2005 causes of death statistics: http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/publicat/lcd-pcd97/table1-eng.php
Before I get too far long in my potential vent, let me just say that I recognize that I am angry because really, I want change. Sometimes anger is a way of expressing a need for growth, for change and transformation. And so, I believe this is the root of my anger, the desire for transformation...and regardless of how angry I seem, I do TRULY believe we have it in us to transform and evolve as individuals and a collective.
Last weekend, I was in our nation's capital, Ottawa. On Weds, a desperately misled, imbalanced and unwell person killed another human being on Capital Hill, and then continued to fire fear and bullets into Parliament Building.
Let me start by saying, this is sad news. Cpl. Nathan Cirillo was a man, a father, a son, and he is gone. It is sad and upsetting that he was taken so recklessly, so insanely. Such a waste of love, life and good intention. I am sincerely sorry for Cpt. Nathan and his family. I hope and believe they are being truly loved and held in the support of their families and communities during their times of grief.
What I find even more devastating however, is our nation's reaction to this random act of violence. Just a few days ago we were allowing ourselves to be tugged in the wake of fear of Ebola, spread by our news broadcasting companies. Then suddenly, since Weds, we have barely heard a hiccup regarding Ebola. Instead now we are allowing ourselves to be held in the iron-fist grip of terrorism.
Just so we can get a good look at the facts:
The story that has gripped our nation since Weds, was regarding the death of one person.
On rough average, 500 Canadians die, EVERY DAY, from preventable, lifestyle diseases.
In 2005, the leading cause of death in Canada was Circulatory System Diseases (such as Cardiovascular Disease). In 2005 this killed 71,749 Canadians. Of the top five killers in our nation, all of them are considered preventable via healthy lifestyle choices. Which means that of the 181,985 deaths, from the leading causes of death, most (if not all) could have been prevented. Talk about a waste of life. Talk about a war on terror.
But for some insane reason, we aren't fighting against the corporate grind which causes unparalleled psychological stress; we aren't we fighting against food marketing campaigns that cleverly feed off our instinctive monkey brains and desires for happiness; in fact here comes another Halloween and the ignorant idea that fun and happiness really do come in the form of packaged, sweet treats.
Why shouldn't we spoil little Johny or Jainie right?
Personally, I can think of 181, 985 good reasons, every year, not to sell my kids short by continuing this lethal belief that their happiness and pleasure comes in the form of fun, sugary 'treats'.
Regardless of the true deadly risk of excessive and over indulgent consumption of stress, sugar, processed foods and carcinogenic fats, our nation, our governments and our broadcasting 'news' companies seem hell bent on selling us foreign threats and fears of terrorism instead of focus our needed attention on to what is really killing us. It is such a simple, reductionistic way of engaging in the world, one that has fuelled wars for eons: our terror and fear of the unknown, of those we perceive as other, those that are different or oppose us.
Although I would find it disturbing to try to understand the rational of the man who decided to take Cpl. Nathan Cirillo's life, I find it just as disturbing to try to understand the ethics or intentions behind companies selling us (and especially our children) lethal-yet-sold-as-fun foods, as well as trying to understand the rational of a government that doesn't put these REAL HOME GROWN TERRORS in check.
Before I get too carried away projecting the blame onto faceless company owners and board members, or government officials, let me be clear that I think the greatest amount of power rests in our individual hearts, hands, minds and actions.
Here is a list of what we can try to do, as much as possible to oppose terror:
- try to remember that the world is filled with way more loving, well intended, imperfect yet striving for improvement and growth human beings
- turn off the news 6 out of 7 days, and surround yourself instead with the good facts of caring neighbours, laughing children, the reality that the sky that is not falling, the view and feel of the earth under your feet, and time spent with those you love
- feel strength and conviction in the power of YOUR DOLLARS: buy local, organic, unprocessed and ethically grown foods and products as much as possible. Work to limit your consumption of unnecessary and unhealthy goods (including fear mongering news and media productions)
- vote, get involved with local and national debate
- volunteer and make a difference in the neighbourhoods you live in
- take time for contemplative, self-loving practices (filling your spiritual, psychological, emotional, physical and intellectual cup as much as possible so it can runneth over and help fill the cups of others)
- study positive psychology and yoga, or other uplifting and inspiring topics
- laugh at your self when you take it all too seriously, but reflect with gratitude for your feelings of care and responsibility for your fellow humans and the world we live in.
So....be well, be light, be love, be imperfect, be forgiving, be compassionate, be.
Thanks for reading.
Love and light and shadow,
Jenelle
The website for the 2005 causes of death statistics: http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/publicat/lcd-pcd97/table1-eng.php
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