Observations during Corpse Pose

I don't mean to gloat, but today I had a wonderful practice. For the past few weeks I have been journaling before and after each practice. This has served many purposes: 1. to keep me accountable to my practice, 2. to intertwine my joy of writing directly with my joy of yoga, 3. to reflect on my feeling-tone: physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually, before and after each practice, and 4. to keep track of my observations for future reference and learning. Today before my practice I felt irritable, tired and lock-jawed. Now, I feel centered, calm and placid. I feel settled in my chest, not sunken or depressed around the heart, nor over-extended or hyper...just good.

One of the observations that came up during my relaxation pose (savasana) was my use of words such as Tension or Pain. I was using a body scan relaxation technique, working up each joint, starting from my toes and ending my jaw joints. With my inhalations I was feeling the joint, scanning it for tension and then with my exhalation releasing into softness. I also eventually found myself inviting Joy, or Peace, or Love into the focused joint, while also exhaling Pain or Tension. This is another technique I had used before and picked up from another teacher. However, I eventually found that each time I exhaled Pain or Tension, the mere holding of the word in my mind felt negative and unwelcomed. In the end I found myself simply focusing on the oceanic pulsations of my breath, inviting Love, Peace or Joy with each inhalation AND exhalation. Letting go of the use of negative words period. Simply put, this felt better.

Even though it was my intention to use these words to help release hardness found in my body and being, the simple reminder of them felt like a jolt, like I was almost leading or reminding my body that they exist within me. I'm not sure what the right thing to do here is, because at times they do exist within me and I realize delusion of denying them will not save me.

However, for the time being I'm going to practice breathing in and out of my being, and in and out of my practice, that which I want to become skilled at...peace, joy and love.

Have a great day,
Jenelle