Power and Grace: Part 2

The first part of my power and grace blog, posted a couple of weeks ago, focused more on my personal experience of a big wave/force, and the power I mustered to face it, and grace that life provided for me to surface it. This second section is slightly more vicariously based and theoretical….less derived from personal experience, but more so from personal thought.
I imagine that in life, when there are times that we are in fact overwhelmed by a tsunami, as opposed to a manageable wave, that grace steps in and saves us. If our power is met by an unsurmountable force, one that overcomes us in mind and/or body, that grace is there to cradle and soothe us in the end. I imagine these sorts of earth swallowing events are those such as terminal cancer/disease, extreme experiences of Alzheimer’s or dementia, a fatal car/bike accident, a tsunami on our doorstep, the one in 5 million chance that a great white is there, hunting in the watery depths. In those instances, where fighting back has become futile, when met with sure death, I wonder: do us humans experience graceful surrender or fretful panic when caught firmly in the jackal’s mouth? Does grace save us? In a book called "Calm Brain", which I've mentioned before, the author makes mention of a mechanism in ours brains, and that of other animals, that triggers a calm grace when death is certain. This is reflected in the stories, such as some of those described in “Calm Brain”, of survivors of bear attacks and the like who report a blissful release of fear, a letting go of panic at the point in the attack where it becomes apparent that there is no chance of survival, that the force is bigger than you and no kicking, screaming or clawing will save you. (Of course, ironically, there was a chance, as they all survived to tell us their stories. Something, by chance happened that shuffled the deck and laid out a new hand for them, a winning hand). But most certainly there are many stories of predator eats prey that tell of the reality of certain death. And I can only imagine, and as others have shared with me, the greatest challenge of grace comes with a perceived death, one that allows for time to contemplate the end. I can’t imagine the power of grace those who’ve had this experience have modelled and practiced, I can’t even imagine and can only ignorantly hope it was beautiful for them and insightful for others blessed to witness it.
Acceptance of life and what it throws at us, is really quite beyond my understanding, so if you are still reading, apologies for going on, and on and on about it. And forgive my attempts to contemplate it.
But I think there is something to this dance of power and grace. That old adage of when life gives you lemons…mind you I’ve considered this one and thought: but lemonade is sweetened with honey and you generally need to add water or else the end result is simply strong, bitter and sour lemon juice. So that’s not really a great analogy. Perhaps our practice and perception of faith/trust in life, instead of moving from fear, helps to sweeten our experiences. Trusting that life will provide us with a few, and some of us a lot, of waves so we can practice meeting, joining and surfing. Some waves will surely be bigger than we thought we were ready for. Some of them will be smaller than we want. Some of them will take us to the very depths of the ocean, where we will find our feet and spring off the sandy base and gratefully fill our lungs with happy, life sustaining breath as we break the water’s seal. Some of them will take us down and we won’t surface and other’s will carry us on in their hearts while we dance in another dreamtime. Within all of these experiences I think we learn when too much will-power is arrogance and instead results in the pain of resistance, and the wisdom of grace bleeds in. I think there are times where we learn that too little power (aka too much grace) is in fact apathy, and after the hurt has come and gone we reflect and realize that lighting a little more volitional fire to pushed back is called for. Although we associate grace as a positive thing, I believe too much of it can leave you feeling like you are a bird caught in a wind storm when really you are a ten tonne elephant.
I feel obligated to finish by bringing this full circle into yoga…since this is my Yoga In The House blog! In your practice, consider these competing constitutions and qualities: power and grace. While in Tree pose (Vrksasana) think about your effort and willpower to remain upright and balanced on one leg, while inviting grace to soften your jaw, shoulders, thoughts and mind, allowing you to sway a little in the wind of time. It can help to visualize or even practice Tree pose in front of a tree: a living epitome of a successful balance between power and grace. The tree is rooted, and obviously not overtly surrendering to the power of gravity or of the wind, but it has enough grace to let leaves go, to sway, dance and even bend unfathomably and hugely when faced by a hurling wind. Remarkably some trees do this for upwards of a 1000years! Amazing!
My personal practice for now is consistently focused on inviting a little more grace, as years of perfectionism have wired jaw clenching and brain pressing habits that still require soft attention and loving kindness. Grace is a fluidity and softness that I still need to practice folding into my living: on my mat, during the art of motherhood and in life in general.
Thanks for reading,
Jenelle