I am Movement; I choose to be Love

I was at a yoga workshop today, and the discussion was shared regarding the purpose of our practice.  It was proposed that one of the possible purposes of our yoga practice was to cultivate a sattvic, collected and quiet mind, to draw us clearly and reflectively into the present moment.  Furthermore, it was suggested that in this acutely present moment perhaps we have an opportunity to ask: who/what am I?  The teacher asked that if we reflected on any possible answers, that we share them; and so I am writing this blog. 

With out an once of righteous certainty, I feel I am Movement; I am Flow.  When I sleep there is still so much of my being still flowing; at the top and bottom of my inhales and exhalations my heart is beating; and blood pulsing; and oxygen, nutrients and waste circulating my every edge.  I am an electro-magnetic pulse, I am an exchange between myself and others; even when I am dead, what ever energetic elements that I am: molecules, atoms, quarks, continue in an ever moving flux and flow of life and death cycle, matter and energy cycle.

So, I feel I am Movement, but here is why I choose to be Love:

In a yoga practice we aim to practice restraint of the senses.  Some yogis have decided that this means abstinence of the senses; while others have decided that this means to control your internal response to the senses- so that the senses themselves do not control your internal responses!  I am a yogi philosopher of the later branch (and perhaps there are other branches that I am unaware of).  My thought process regarding simply practicing self-restraint versus abstinence is part of the reason why I choose to be Love.  Although there is no doubt senses could and can lead to overwhelming intensity (good or bad), I also see them as an opportunity to participate in this life. 

Here I am, moving through life, with no certainty.  All around me there is so much beauty, and what I interpret as Love.  There is color, there are sounds, sights, smells, relationships, feelings, thoughts and movements, and I believe they are all beautiful and exquisite (though sometimes sad and painful).  This living experience feels real and so I choose not to doubt it as such, and I actively choose to honor it as a gift.  As I can see, I know I have sight; as I can hear, I know the purpose of my ears; as I have taste, I know the purpose of my tongue; as I have skin, I know the purpose of touch; as I move I know the purpose of my joints and muscles; as I have cortical processes/consciousness, I know the purpose of my thoughts, and for all of these senses to experience this life I am thankful.  All of these are opportunities to participate in presence and flow.  And as the opportunity is here, why would I doubt its purpose and choose to not participate.  This does not feel good to me, though I appreciate it may feel right/good/true for others.

Sometimes, there is joy, ease and general positive sensations in my experience; sometimes there is pain, grief, loss, and general negative sensations (ones that make me feel pain or discomfort).  In experiencing both ends of the feelings spectrum, I have interpreted a personal bias to what gets defined as the good sensations (joy, happiness, peace, etc).  Though I acknowledge my bias for the good, I still accept and value the purpose of experiencing the negative ones.  The negative experiences provides perspective, contrast, other colors in the rainbow.  They help me to cultivate gratitude for that which I prefer: the good sensations.  The negative serves as a reminder of the flow and movement of life; the reality that change is inevitable, and so I participate (what else can I do:-) ). 

As Rick Hanson points out, our brains are like Velcro for the bad and Teflon for the good.  Knowing this and also recognizing that happiness is my optimal state, I use my yoga practice (both on and off the mat) to help me cultivate discernment and joy.  My practice helps me discriminate the difference between well and unwell; eustress and distress; growth and decay.  To honor and appreciate this gift of life, while still accepting the reality of death, I choose to be and see Love/Joy/Happiness as these serve my well-being, eustress and growth.  Although I simultaneously choose to accept the realities of the movement of life, both negative and positive, I still FEEL that love facilitates an upward, growing spiral, which is the direction I choose to abide in while I can, before it is time for me graciously accept and honor decay and death.

Maybe this resonates with you, maybe it doesn't.  Either way, thanks for reading:-).